What is true?

Psalm 30:5 says that "weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." If taking this verse literally, I would have to disagree. For when you're in the midst of heartache or one of the darker times in life, it's in the morning-in your first moments of consciousness-that the pain from your circumstances sweeps through your entire body, often settling in your chest. It is then that you accept that your pain is in fact reality, that it is not a dream. Yet it is in those first few moments of alertness, that we have a choice. Will we listen to the lies being whispered to us, the ones that so often prolong grief and feed unhealthy thinking, or will we tell ourselves what is true? Though I think grieving is important, allowing us to mourn a loss and acknowledge that we have been hurt, forcing us to cry out for help to the only One that can truly heal us, it's not healthy to stay there for long.

If taking Psalm 30:5 figuratively, I would no doubt agree. In fact, it's what gives me hope. And hope is exactly what we need in times of trouble. Hope that joy will come; that He promises to heal the brokenhearted. I believe that how long our "weeping in the night" lasts often depends on what we tell ourselves, what we choose to believe. And I think that the "joy in the morning" simply comes from clinging to what is true.

So what is true? I've been asking myself this question lately (thanks to my lil sis), and these are just a few truths that I keep telling myself:

1. God loves me.
2. He called me by name; I am His.
3. Nothing can separate me from His love.
4. He has given me purpose.
5. He will never leave me, nor forsake me.
6. He will provide my every need.
7. His grace is sufficient.
8. He promises to be close to the brokenhearted.
9. He will work everything together for good for those that love Him.
10. He is my ever present help in time of need.

When I focus on what is true, I have hope that joy isn't so far away . . .

This Road

A million miles away from anything familiar
A thousand places I would rather be
So I choke back the tears and try to find the bright side
Though I find it hard to see beyond my suffering
In my heart I know your plan is so much bigger
But this small part is all that I can see
And I believe you haven’t left me here to wander
Still I can't help but ponder where you're leading me

And I ask why this road
Why this way
And this load
Tell me how far must I go
Till I see
Till I know
Why this road

A million miles away from anything familiar
What was it like to be so far from home
Though you came in love
The world misunderstood you
There must have been some days when you felt so alone
But you endured, cause there was joy before you
Joy that came because you sacrificed
Since you gave yourself just to spend forever with me
Surely I can trust you'll lead me through my darkest times

When I ask why this road
Why this way
And this load
Tell me how far must I go
Till I see
Till I know
Why this road


From here I can not see
Why you'd choose this path for me
But I don't have to understand to believe
That you know why
You know why this road
Why this way
and this load
You know how far I must go
Till I see
Till I know
Why this road


-Ginny Owens

Cheers!

Peacock is the name of the guy that works on my car - he doesn't have a shop (or probably any mechanical schooling, for that matter); he just hangs out under a banana stand on the side of the road and fixes (is that a word?!) cars people drop off. Mike is the guy who owns the little coffee stand off the dock in Red Hook and who makes my lattes every morning: Triple Two-Pump Vanilla ICED Latte (I no longer drink hot coffee, it's too dang hot here). Brian is the lifeguard that sits 0n the stand where I lay out on my favorite beach. Glenn (and his wife) own Island Time where I spend way too much time with my friends eating pizza. Danielle is my hairdresser and happens to rent me my movies at the local video store, Sharon is my Yoga instructor, and the point is this . . . they know my name and I know theirs, and there is something to be said about wanting "to be where everybody knows your name" (insert Cheers' theme song). As much as I struggle with certain aspects of island living, I like that I know people's names, and I like that they know mine . . . I like that when I walk into any establishment here, the expectation is to say hello to one another. When I lived in Arlington, people rarely looked you in the eyes when you passed them on the street or ordered a coffee from corporate-y Starbucks, let alone took the time to learn your name. I used to go to the same Starbucks every day and not once did the people behind the counter stop to ask me my name, although admittedly, I never stopped long enough to ask them theirs either. Rarely did I take the time to just stop . . . and breathe . . . and get to really know the people around me. We live in such a fast-paced world; we are so caught up in our own lives that we don't invest time into others, and isn't that what we (especially followers of Christ) are here for? To create relationships and be a light in others' lives? We were created to be relational and yet we (myself included) often forget it, or minimize the significance of investing into other people. Just another one of the things I'm re-learning here . . .

When you get right down to it, there is nothing more important than investing in the lives of other people, and very few things that make you feel as special as when someone invests in yours! Challenge of the day: next time you walk into Starbucks, or your local grocery store or gas station, ask the person with the familiar face their name! :)

10 days til Hanna get here . . . can NOT wait!

Love . . .

Ridin' Fences

"Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
You been out ridin' fences for so long now
Oh, you're a hard one
I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin' you
Can hurt you somehow."

These Eagles' lyrics have been running through my head for the last few days. Random? Yes and no. While I can't remember the last time I heard this song, it doesn't surprise me in the least that I've been humming this particular verse. I think God can (and will) use anything to grab our attention when He needs to, even a song written by Don Henley. I know He's telling me to get off the fence . . . at least in one area in particular.

Those who are experts in "riding fences", or at least have taken a ride on one before, know what it feels up there. It can be exciting at first, no doubt; you might even feel free with one foot in and one foot out, like you "beat the system" somehow. But, unless you jump off the fence quickly, feelings of confusion, lonliness, and, yes, even pain begin to creep in. It's inevitable.

C.S. Lewis, the great philosopher, once wrote, "If you are continually stirred and fail to act, the time will come when you will be unable to act." In other words, passivity (or in this case, fence riding) can and will lead to paralysis. And in the life of a believer, paralysis is the worst ailment to have.

Fence-riders are cowards; they're afraid to make a decision one way or the other, afraid to take a stand, worried about what people on one side of the fence or the other will think of them. Fence-riders are selfish; they want what they think is the best both sides of the fence have to offer. Fence-riders are ineffective and insecure, respected by no one.

I don't want to be a fence-rider.

Three Gifts for Hard Times

Michael Easley sent this article out the other day. Such great perspective and wisdom for dealing with the hard times of life. There is purpose...and God is good all the time!

It's a little long, but worth the read!
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2009/august/34.44.html?start=1

News from STT

Hello people! Sorry I haven't written a post for over a month! Several people in the last few days have pointed out that I needed to post something, so I'm obeying orders. Hmmm, what new and exciting things do I need to tell you all?

Well, I'll start with work at Havana Blue... What can I say? Waiting tables is waiting tables. Although, I guess fine dining is a little different than what I'm used to. We have a lot less tables and make a lot more money! It's slow season right now, so we're not always that busy, but come October it'll be a different story, so I'm just trying to enjoy the slowness right now. I've managed to get my schedule down to only 3 or 4 nights right now which has been nice so that I can work on homework (I'll get to that later). Also, the people at work are a lot more fun than I had originally thought they were. I can honestly say that I enjoy the majority of the people I work with, so I'm thankful. If you think about, say a little prayer that I can be a good influence in their lives; that I'M the one doing the influence and not vice-versa.

School is going well, I suppose. I feel like I'm still barely keeping my head above water a lot of the times, though. Transitioning back into the student mentality has been a little tougher than I thought it would be; that or it's the whole time management thing. This past weekend I pulled my first all-nighter; haven't done that since my senior year of college. Not. Fun. I had a big paper due, 4 short papers, a test, and 5 lectures to watch. 25 hours later (and I'm not exaggerating) I'm happy to say that everything was turned in, and on time. As to the quality of work...who knows...we'll see. Needless to say, I crashed hard for about 14 hours afterwards. Now, I'm in the process of gearing up for the last week and half of classes. I have a 15 page research paper on D.L.Moody due, two finals, two short papers, and about 10 lectures to watch. Pray that I finish well. I'll have a week off before my next two classes start on the 24th of this month: Old Testament II and Apologetics (really looking forward to this class). In spite of the workload and stress that inevitably comes with deadlines, I'm learning so, so much and thankful to have this opportunity. I moved down here to focus on school, it's just sometimes I lose sight of that in the midst of just living life. I'm thankful for the people who continually remind me why I'm here and to keep pressing on!

I flew home to VA two weeks ago, and I was there for such a short visit that it kinda feels like a dream. Half of the trip, I sat in front of my computer doing homework. Sigh. But I loved, loved getting to see my family and friends, if only briefly. And I loved all the conveniences and options that I took for granted living there. It was nice to be able to shop somewhere other than KMart!

On a spiritual front, God continues to teach me new things all the time, but He's also been harping on some old truths. One lesson I think He's been trying to drill into me since I've been here...

So often people refer to changing homes, jobs, or even relationships as a "fresh start," a chance to "start over," but I'm learning that just because you have a "fresh start" doesn't mean that anything will necessarily change, except perhaps your physical location, or career, or a different face to look at. If the heart is the same, everything else remains the same. If there's a bad habit in life, location won't change that. When I decided to move here, I did not feel like I was running from anything, if anything, I felt as if I was running towards something; however, I'd be lying if I said that there wasn't a little hope in me that I would get here and some of the bad habits I had while living in VA would mysteriously vanish because I was "starting over." Nope. The things I struggled with in VA, were waiting for me here in St.Thomas. Why? Because it's a matter of the heart. And that's what God is reiterating in my life right now. The only way for your life to look different is to be changed from the inside out. I don't know that you can ever really "start over." Sure, your slate can be wiped clean, but if the heart isn't right, there will be no permanent change, and it'll just be a matter of time before you're looking for a "fresh start." I'm hoping that God works on my heart while I'm here. I don't want to always be looking for fresh starts; I want permanence.

On a lighter note, I'm starting to enjoy living here. I don't know if I can say I LOVE it yet, but there are great things about this island! Come visit me and find out what those things are!

P.S. Hanna - Can not WAIT for you to get here!

Love...
JD

Countdown

I haven't showered in two days-unless, of course, you count swimming in the pool "showering -and I'm officially exhausted. I've had off the last two days and I've done nothing but study, write papers, take an exam, and run a few errands. (Granted, some of that studying was done either at the pool or on the beach, but still . . .) I know I've said it before, but this program is grueling. I'm hoping that as the weeks go on I'll learn to manage my time better and get back into the student mindset, where writing papers is second nature and I can "skim" through the assigned readings and still absorb the content. That said, I'm happy to report that I have, in fact, recieved my first paper back, as well as my first exam, and I got A's on both of them! :)

In other news . . .

1. So, I gave in and I bought my first pair of Crocs - don't judge. (Catton, I can see the look of disappoint on your face as you're reading this - wipe it off!) I bought them for work, because everyone else was wearing them there, and I have to say, they're actually pretty comfortable and not all that bad looking. I still am not a fan of the neon greens and pinks, though - those deserve a ticket from the fashion police...seriously. (Sorry to those who may own a pair.) Anyway, just thought I'd share that random bit of information.

2. As I'm writing this post, I'm approaching the start of the 24 hour countdown to 31. Seriously? Sigh . . . Where did 30 go? It feels like I was just mourning the loss of my 20s and now I'm already moving on to the next year! 31. Weird. Suddenly 30 doesn't seem so bad! :) Actually, I'm only partially serious; most of me has decided to try to embrace my 30s and accept the fact that I'm aging; that I'll never be (or look) 20 years old again . . . and that's okay. So far, my 30s are teaching me things about myself, they're forcing me out of comfort zones, they're giving me more confidence. In short, and surprisingly enough, 31 doesn't really bother me at all that much. I'm excited to see what my 31st year has in store for me! One thing that I am bummed about in regards to my birthday: I have to work. So, I'll be celebrating 31 by serving other people food. Fun, fun . . . :)

3. I miss my family. And my friends, of course. But especially my family, right now. Again, as I write this, my sisters and their families, my dad, stepmom, grandparents, and all my aunts, uncles, and cousins are gathering at my Dad's cabin in West Virginia to ring in the 4th of July together as a family. I will miss being with them this year. . . a lot! It's cliche to say, I know, but the older I get, the more I value my family and want to be near them. And I just so happen to have been blessed with an amazing family. Although, I'll still be living here at this time next year (which is hard for me to believe), I'm determined to make it home to celebrate the 4th with them, and welcome 32, arms wide open!

Okay, time for bed. Tomorrow's agenda: study, then work. Okay, fiiiiine, I'll probably go to the beach, too!

Nite.